Tuesday, April 14, 2009

The 5 to the 10, and back again

It was a lot of hours in the car, probably more time in the car than not. But that’s okay, and at the road weary end of the day, it was well worth it. Number one reason: It was the first time we had seen Hannah (Ed’s 16 year old daughter) since we left LA. Number two reason: My mom was hosting the family reunion and we had promised months ago, before the job loss and consequential chaos, that we would be there. So we headed to the homestead in Tucson, Arizona. It was a trip down memory lane, at times soul-searching, nostalgic and pensive, it took me to a lot of places. And most of them were good.
The first driving stint from here to Stockton, CA where we crashed for a few hours in a Motel 6, had me staring out the window looking at the giant metal women stoically carrying the wires that connect all of us. All of a sudden I was a little girl again, and my folks had thrown us in the car for some 14 hour drive to grandma’s house. Being a child, with limitless dreams and potential, and an imagination as varied as the landscapes we would drive past. Being a child, just riding in a car, wondering where you will go when it is your turn to drive. And I say to that child, that neither in your wildest dreams or worst nightmares, can you ever truly imagine what lies in store for you down the road of life. The only thing you can control is your reaction to life.
I had a good childhood, some turbulence in my teens, as well as when I walked away from certain beliefs, but I think I’ve made peace with my past, at least momentarily.
It was really good to see my family, both nuclear and extended. My dad showed us around his garden, pointing out his new almond tree. He gave us some watermelon and sunflower seeds. My mama gave us a painting of a mama bird and her seven little birds sitting in a tree. We talked up our family farm, and everyone loved the name, and had advice about chicken keeping and gardening. Family are good people.
We are putting Hannah in charge of creating our logo, she wants to go into graphic design so we said get to work. I was pleasantly surprised at how agreeable Hannah was during the event, and how she took to participating with my family. She just turned 16 so we took her out driving around my old neighborhood. It’s nerve-wracking and wonderful to see her coming into adulthood with the milestones along the way. And she almost totalled the car only once or twice.
Much of the trip was spent in discussions of the farm, and my job that I’m still not liking. Weighing the Pros and Cons of being miserable to earn money. The Cons won, so I came in today and gave my two weeks notice. It would be too hard for Ed to try to get the farm business running all by himself, and we figured that now is the time to follow our dreams.
Make it work, people. Ed says I’m a silly girl. And I say, I am a silly girl. But I want to hold your hand and play in the dirt. And once you’ve said that, there is nothing left to say.


  1. I wish I had your courage!
    Susan in Dallas

  2. I recently came accross your blog and have been reading along. I thought I would leave my first comment. I dont know what to say except that I have enjoyed reading. Nice blog. I will keep visiting this blog very often.



  3. I wanted to stop and see you two on my way to Seattle but my dad and I are going to go up PCH and it would be a bit out of the way.


    It is tradition that you eat it on your one year anniversary so I plan on over-nighting it in dry ice soon.